not what I expected

Flash back to 5 years ago, I was the definition of miss independent. I remember eating rice and frozen vegetables for a month straight because I absolutely refused to ask my mom for money (that was just stupid, but a great diet). Josh and I met while I was in nursing school, it is sad to admit but I used the guy for free golf. As our relationship began to grow I never let my guard down. Even when I knew he was the one, there was still a part of me that held back for fear of being hurt. As we continued to date I made is VERY obvious that I never wanted to get married (I wasn't going to be that girl). Needless to say the next year we were married. Then I made it clear that I never wanted kids, I wanted to work and focus on a career..... 2 years later Noah was born.
Josh left tonight for a golf tournament in VA and he took Noah to grandma's on the way. As I sat crying on the porch (cause I just didn't want them to leave) it made me realize how much I have changed over the past few years. I have gone from miss independent to miss completely dependent! I have to laugh as I write this just because of how much we change overtime. The life I once considered was all about me now includes two of the most amazing boys and they are what my life is all about now. It's amazing how so much of my identity and who I am comes from not being Candice but from Josh's wife and Noah's mom.
On our wedding day I refused to be announced as Mr. and Mrs. Joshua Petrunger- I have a name too and it is not Mrs. josh Petrunger. I think at that point in life I considered the title offensive now I consider it an honor. I guess it's true when they say, "never say never".

surrendering

Each Sunday I come from church so rejuvenated and ready for the week. As many of you know I have struggled lately not with my faith but with living daily in a way that I feel pleases God. I have everything in the world to be thankful for and I truely am, God has blessed me with the most amazing and loving husband who I could not imagine a day without. Then He took it even another step with blessing us to have a family and healthy little boy. In April I took a trip to Honduras that has impacted my life in a way I didn;t realize was possible. One of my biggest fears has been I would forget the burden God layed on my heart as I walked throughout the village of the local familes we were serving. So, today I came to the conclusion that I am a girl that wants my cake and wants to eat it too! I want to have a relationship with God that guides me each day......but I also want my dream house and all my worldly possessions. Not saying there is anything wrong with with financial success or luxery homes, but for me I have often put my dreams before my Father. This song had me tears as I sang out in church today. It is so hard to surrender it all due to the fact of feeling vulnerable, but with God when we surrender it actually strengthens us.
Each week as we are singing I look around and am awe of those who raise their hands in worship, I have ALWAYS wanted to do this, but something always holds me back. I fear that what if the person next to me thinks Im weird. So silly how we worry about what others may say or think even while at church. So this is my year and I am going to learn to lift my hands in worship and "surrender" it all to my God.

Introducing Max Woods

Little Max is so adorable. We had a wonderful time going around the house taking fun candids. John was so cute as he ran around the house finding different ways to prop little Max up for his shoot. My favorite shot has to be when John rolled out the Harley. This family is just beautiful inside and out. max is growing so fast and I can't wait to get my camera on him again.

Going through the motions

It seems like throughout different chapters of life there have been numerous songs I have held onto for inspiration, comfort, excitement, celebration, etc. Recently i just cannot get enough of this song by Matthew West, some of you may know that Matt had to have surgery on his vocal cords and wasn't allowed to speak for a whole year. After recovering, this song sums up not only his past year but daily life.
Last week I was on my way to work at 630am and just in my head I was thinking man I wish that song would play, you know it, the very next song was it.
Routines are needed but they can also hinder us. Work 7-330, pick up Noah from daycare, head home (fighting traffic), make dinner, work around house, bathe Noah and put to bed, pack lunches for tomorrow, check emails, pay bills, edit pictures.....daily chores never end and it is so easy to become absorbed with just staying afloat. But at the end of the day, you hop in bed and realize that today is gone, completely gone and there is nothing we can do to bring it back. So at what point did I stop and take in the beautiful sunset that God has given, or hugged my husband a little longer than usual. I am making it a point to live and love with all I have, at the end of today I will not look back with the regret of going through "the motions"

Struggles

Life is definitely going by with a flash. Noah turns 1 next month and I have no idea where the year has gone. Lately I have found myself with the constant feeling like I am forgetting something. Finally, the other day I just sat down to think what is it that is bothering me? What am I forgetting to do? Why do I feel so unnerved? Then I realized I have been so busy with work and trying to grow my business and spend time with family that I have been neglecting my relationship with my heavenly father. I have been so busy with myself and MY wants that I have deviated so far from the path God has layed for me. Sunday at church this song was played and it touched me so deeply I just wanted to share it with everyone. This song was written by the lead singer after he had attended a camp with a friend who was struggling with a chemical addiction and he just didn't know how to confront him. So often we are scared of what our friends may say if we confront them. Watching someone you love struggle with life wether it be drugs, alcohol, or even faith is hard to do. But staying silent isn't always best. I just encourage each of us to invest in those we love and give more of ourselves. Hope you enjoy the song.

The Hutchison Family

Tina is by far one of the most stylish moms I know, she is beautiful on the inside and out. So it is no suprise how stinking adorable her two little girls are. I was so excited to get my camera on the newest addition to the family, Kate. I couldn't resist her chubby cheeks and thighs! She was excellent through the whole shoot, we had to stop for milk a few times but then she was good to go. Jacqueline was more interested in planting flowers and playing in the dirt with grandma. She was too cute with her Dora the Explorer gardening gloves and she even has her own gardening tools.

Anniversay

Wow, I can't believe it has been 3 years of marriage already, the time flies by. Josh and I met in our hometown of Princeton, WV. We have been in Morgantown now for 4 years. During the past 3 years we have moved 4 times, bought a house, got a dog, changed jobs, had a wondeful little guy (noah), lost loved ones, and fallen more in love with each passing day. At the end of the day yesterday we both just laughed at how much life has changed, previously we have gone out or taken a romantic trip to celebrate but this year was quite different. We were both up at 530am, showered, Noah woke at 6, everyone got dressed, dropped Noah off at daycare, I went to work, Josh to the hospital for a rotation. 5pm we finally made it home, Josh had to prepare for a presentation and being the amazing wife I am, Noah and I went and bought 5 dollar Little Ceasar Pizza (and bread sticks) for our romantic dinner. back home by 6, ate dinner. 7pm, Noah's bath time then bottle then attempting to put in crib. 8pm editing pics. 10pm finally bed. This is our life and I LOVE IT!!!!